The Eighth Day of Conflict~ 8-ty Proof Holidays

Have you seen the movie Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase? It has got to be, hands down, the best Christmas movie ever. What other movie can you laugh until you cry? Where you can look at each individual character and pinpoint exactly who they are in your own family. My husband and I used to have the Christmas Vacation Trivia Party at our house each year. We invited 20 of our closest friends, made them dinner, then had them fill out the trivia sheet of 50 questions we’d come up with from the movie. Then, we would all gather around the TV as we laughed, cried and would see how well our memory served us as we graded our trivia answers.  It was the best attended event of the season and one particular couple always won! Each year the questions got harder but they inevitability knew exactly what the answers were.

One of the most poignant scenes to me in the entire film is when all has gone to hell in a hand basket. Clark Griswold asks his dad, “how did you make it through all of those family Christmas’?” to which his dad responds, “I got a little help from my friend, Jack Daniels.” Some of us may guffaw at the answer but so many more of us can relate. I will admit there have been times in my life that I’ve gotten to the brink and rather than asking God to help me through the moment, I’ve decided that having a drink (or a pain pill) was the way I decided I would alleviate my pain. That would be quicker than God can take care of it, right?  Certainly there is nothing wrong with having a few drinks—but, when we decide to hide behind the numbing effect of the alcohol or drugs instead of dealing with the emotional trauma we are going through, then it becomes a problem.  One such trauma occurred in my life when my brother died twelve years ago. I walked around in a fog wondering what I had done to deserve such a rotten lot in life. Time progressed. I worked through the grief that takes time. Slowly, the fog began to lift and I decided it was time to deal  with the truth and emotional baggage I had drowned with prescription drugs and alcohol.

So, where do we go from here? We remember:

  • God did not design life the way we are currently living. He created the Garden of Eden, perfect and unblemished, and mankind messed it all up. We will NEVER be fulfilled in this lifetime. There will ALWAYS be a void in our lives that only God can fill. The only time we will ever be completely content, happy, fulfilled, etc. is when we hit heaven’s door. God designed it that way so we would look forward to eternity with Him. II Corinthians 5: 1-10
  • We also know there are times in this life we have to deal with the consequences of our own actions, the consequences of someone else’s actions, or the crummy side effects of life here on this sin filled planet. In the last 4 weeks cancer has taken parents from 2 of my friends. A friend of mine lost her daughter to a drunk driver. Divorce has ripped apart another family and children are still reeling from the fallout. All are a result of sin. The whole world is groaning waiting for Christ’s return.  Romans 8:22
  • If you are in the midst of the fog and using drugs or alcohol to deaden the pain you are feeling—you will eventually have to push your way through the pain. Why not decide that today is the day that you begin to fight through the pathway that is unclear and allow Jesus, the light of the world, to help you find your way.  Psalm 119:105

I sometimes wish there was a movie explaining the reasons life is so crappy … then I remember that there is a story—it’s a true story about why we celebrate Christmas. A story of a little babe that came into this world because God loves us so much and wanted us to have another option. The option of eternal life with Him, where the world will once again be perfect like He always intended it to be. Will you take Him up on it?

Tomorrow—The Twelfth Day of Conflict—7 Days with Jesus

For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.

So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil. II Corinthians 5:1-10

The Ninth Day of Conflict~ 9 Rounds in the Ring

Too bad they don't make these for verbal knock down drag out fights!

We all have at least one person in our lives that when they start talking, before they finish their sentence we have formulated our defense in our head. “But, you didn’t”  . . . “or apparently you’re unaware of” . . .  a little jab here, an upper cut there, maybe even a left hook—the verbal knock down drag out can temporarily make us feel better. I received a phone call like that once. I sat and listened for 15 minutes of what seemed like an eternity.  I could visualize the virtual smoke pouring out the person’s ears as each item was listed of each and every time I hurt or disappointed was described. As I listened, I made a mental list of why #1 wasn’t true. #2 might be a little true. #3 I have NO idea where that one came from, etc.  Each item that was listed, accusing me of doing things that hurt someone’s feelings, and all because of what I could see was more often than not, miscommunication. But, at this point that didn’t matter. The damage had been done. What I have found, is that when you start to defend yourself, the other party gets even more defensive, swinging insults right back, taking more proverbial jabs at your character, and maybe even a couple below the belt.

As I thought about this, I had to ask myself what Jesus did and what did He say when someone wanted to go 9 rounds.  Fortunately for me, there is quite a bit of information.

In Matthew 5:22, Jesus tells us, whoever is angry with his brother, or insults him, will be held liable. In contrast, in Matthew 5:44 Jesus tells us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. I’m thinking there are two sides to our behavior—either way, we are to act ‘perfect, as our heavenly father is perfect’. (which by the way, simply means we see the world through God’s eyes. If you’ve never heard Brandon Heath’s song, Give Me Your Eyes-check it out on YouTube).

How did Jesus respond when He was justified in His actions and people still wanted to go a few rounds at his expense? Mark 14:61 tells us He remained calm and silent, listening to the insults not returning evil for evil.

Even if our actions are justified, getting in the ring for a knock out drag down session of words is never a good idea. The ol’ adage of sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me is the most repeated lie in all of history. Proverbs 17:28 tells us, “Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.

I have a memory like an elephant.  I never forget the emotional scars.  They are like tattoos that will never be removed in this lifetime.  So, what happens once you have averted the boxing ring, and yet all those accusations are still swirling around in your head? Let me suggest the following:

  1. 1.       Tell yourself the truth—whatever words are used to lure you into the ring, remind yourself, out loud if necessary, of the truth.  You will know the truth and the truth will set you free. John 8:32
  2. Ask yourself if what they said really matters. Is any of it true? If there is any truth, take responsibility for what is yours. Ask God for forgiveness for any malice you may have had in hurting the other individual. I John 1:9
  3. Take a moment to read Luke 6:27-36. It’s a great reminder of how Jesus would desire us to respond and a reminder of the truth!

Remaining silent isn’t the easiest avenue, but it’s definitely the wisest and it’s really hard to go nine rounds with someone who is not fighting back.

Tomorrow—8-ty Proof Holiday

The Tenth Day of Conflict~ 10-der Relationships

Have you ever watched NBC’s The Office? Talk about dysfunctional relationships. Yet, so many people love the show because in many ways it is so true to life. What about ABC’s Modern Family? We may not all have a gay brother living with his partner and adopted daughter or a father whose second wife is the same age as his children —but there are  many times we can relate to the difficult relational interactions between the family members. One thing is true about all relationship whether on TV or in real life—some relationships in our lives are more tender than others.

There are those people in your life that you can be a bull around and there are others you must act like Bambi around. How I interact with my husband, children, best friend, and strangers are all different. Why is that? Could it be that the relationship I have developed with each person dictates how honest I can be with them and how I share my true thoughts? Does the other person’s emotional and spiritual health dictate the relationship? Michael Scott has no issue ‘laying it all out there’ with Dwight because he figures Dwight’s skin is thick enough. Yet I have to ask myself, ‘is Dwight’s skin really all that thick?’ Sometimes people can be like burnt marshmallows, hard and crunchy on the outside yet soft and gooey on the inside.

Since I don’t really want to emulate my life after Michael Scott, I asked myself, how did Jesus interact with those around him? What I found is that each interaction He had was customized.  It depended on who he was talking to. For example, when Jesus was speaking to the woman at the well in John 4 he was empathetic. When he spoke to the Scribes and Pharisees in Matthew 23 he was truthful and laid it all out there in a seemingly angry manner. It wasn’t just that he was dealing with man verses women. He looked at the spiritual and emotional condition of the parties he was speaking to.

How can I do the same?  First, I think I have to care enough about others to look at their spiritual and emotional state.  We aren’t called to judge people based upon their spiritually or emotion state, but would it hurt to at least recognize where they are?  After that recognition, I may need to adjust my interactions accordingly.  A little recognition and a little understanding is probably more important this time of year than a sledge hammer dose of truth, especially if you know the relationship is a 10-der one.

Tomorrow: The Ninth Day of Christmas–9 Rounds in the Ring

The Eleventh Day of Conflict, er, I mean Christmas: 11 Great Expectations

How many of you sit, the day after opening gifts—or even while opening gifts—and think to yourself, ‘was alcohol involved in this purchase? Or what on earth were they thinking when they bought this?’ Am I the only one who thinks like this? Perhaps I seem shallow in discussing the gifts, but it’s not really the gifts per se but what the gift giving sometimes seems to communicate about the relationship. More often than not we say gift giving but the expectation seems to communicate otherwise! Maybe we should all say gift exchanging. We all desperately want to be loved and appreciated and when someone gives us a gift that screams 5 minute purchase, we wonder how important our relationship really is.  Or what if you spent hours working on gift for someone and they don’t seem to really appreciate all the thought, time and energy you put into it? This, my friend, is unmet expectations. And in my experience, there are usually more than eleven each year.

I cannot meet everyone’s expectations and nobody could ever meet all of mine.  I take comfort in knowing that even Jesus had to deal with unmet expectations. Once, while Jesus was speaking to a crowd, his mother and brothers were outside asking to speak to him (Matthew 12:46). I think their expectation was for Jesus to say, “come on up to the front of the line” but instead his response was, “who is my mother, and who are my brothers? Those who do the will of my father in heaven, they are my brothers and sisters and mother.” Whoa! That is NOT the response I would have been looking for if I’m his momma. That didn’t seem like a very nice thing to say. Jesus’ response perplexes me to no end!! As I think about it, I realized there is usually more to what Jesus says than what is seems.

So, I asked myself, “What are some ways that I can lower my expectations of others? How do I respond to others expectations?” Jesus didn’t always respond in this manner. There is the time during the wedding at Cana in John 2:2 when Jesus responded to his mother’s expectations by doing what she asked of him. So, there must be a formula to how I react in each situation and with different individuals.  Well, maybe not a formula, but at least some principles.  Let me suggest some possibilities:

  • A knee jerk reaction is not the wisest.  Praying and seeking wisdom with each individual interaction should be our goal.
  • Each response will be different and both parties may not always be pleased with the outcome.
  • When your expectations are not being met, ask yourself how you would desire to be treated in the same situation. Could something in the person’s life be causing them to not meet your expectation? And, is it really the end of the world if what you wanted to happen, doesn’t happen?
  • No matter what decision you come to—always respond to the individual with humility!

What individual situation are you going to pray about today? Ask God to give you ‘the wisdom of Solomon’ in that situation so you can ultimately glorify Him in your response.

Tomorrow, we’ll be talking about the Tenth Day of Christmas: 10-der Relationships.

The Twelfth Day of Christmas-12 Krispy Kremes

The Twelfth Day of Christmas: 12 Krispy Kreme Donuts

               Have you ever gone to one of the Krispy Kreme donut locations? The locations where they actually bake the Krispy Kremes right there? The aromas of vanilla mingled with warm sugar that tickle the nose and tantalize the taste buds. Are you salivating yet? I had a friend that went and bought one dozen glazed Krispy Kremes one morning. She thought she’d have just one on her drive home, or maybe two. But, before she knew it she had consumed ten of the glazed yum yums that had previously occupied that coveted Krispy Kremes box. Horrified, and afraid her husband would never let her live it down, she decided that it would be best to finish the final two and be rid of the evidence.  Eating the final two was not as easy as the first ten—she had a sick feeling in her stomach. She could feel the bile rising up in her throat. The insulin rush in her body went to her cheeks and made her flush. She had to force down the last two Krispy Kremes. It was an act of will to get and keep them down.  A task of mind over matter.

That story reminds me of getting revenge. Revenge smells so good as we plot it. It tastes oh so sweet as we begin to think through our plot. But, after awhile, nausea sets in. We begin to feel the consequences of our actions.  We tell ourselves that we will feel better but in the end, we only feel worse. Why do you think that is? In the same way God created our stomachs to be repulsed after gorging ourselves on a dozen Krispy Kremes, God created our souls to be repulsed by revenge. In Romans 12:19, God says ‘vengeance is mine.’ God will take care of making sure His children are protected and cared for. Does that mean every time that someone does you wrong that God will strike them dead? We might wish it were so on some days, but, no, the promise is that God will do what HE knows is best. Perhaps vindication will happen later in their life—perhaps it won’t ever happen in your lifetime. Part of trusting our heavenly Father is taking Him at His word and trusting He knows what is best. Does it make it easy? No. But, I can tell you from experience—it is always the best route to take in life.

Tomorrow–11 Great Expectations!

The 12 Days of Conflict, er, I mean 12 Days of Christmas

The last several years I’ve noticed I’ve really started to dislike the Christmas season. Not just dislike or disdain, but really loathe the season … like the Grinch. It used to be my favorite holiday. My Christmas newsletter would be put together and mailed by December 1st. Christmas shopping? Often done by November. What happened? What happened that makes me cringe when the month of December approaches? As an analytical thinker, I decided to research what was going on in my heart and head and see if I could come up with a logical answer. My findings might surprise you.

Wanting to really enjoy this Christmas season, and enjoy it for the right reasons, I decided to write about the 12 Days of Conflict, I mean The Twelve Days of Christmas. Not just conflict with family members during the holiday but also conflict that is stirring within me because of my humanness. I am not perfect—I cannot please everyone, or make all the right decisions. How do I deal with the inner conflict within myself? As I journey, what can I do to assuage the grief that comes with my imperfections as they arise, and can I minimize the effect on those around me that I love?

Over the next twelve days, I will be visiting the many issues that seem to come up during the holiday seasons. Getting even—expectations—tender relationships—verbal fights—judging others—forgiving someone—and that filter between the brain and mouth that occasionally doesn’t work, just to name a few. I discovered there are exactly 12 issues…okay, there are probably a few more, but in the interest of history, I will keep it to the 12 Days of Conflict, I mean the 12 Days of Christmas.

Join me as I think through issues in my life. I don’t know you personally, but I suspect we are all a lot more alike than we are different. Feel free to let me know how your journey is progressing.

I can’t wait to get started! Tomorrow, 12 Krispy Kremes….

Holiday Family Gathering Conundrum

     I have started hearing it when I walk through the stores, stand in line for groceries, and talk to co-workers. It may be said differently, expressed in a plethora of ways by all, but has the same meaning and connotation no matter how it is communicated. It doesn’t matter where you live, who you are, or how much money you earn, it is universally felt. If you have family, and you celebrate the holidays, you are about to enter a season of life that may include groaning, crying, screaming, grinding of your teeth at night or simply medicating yourself to cope.

It is the holiday season—a time of year when families that have been brought together by no fault of their own, not of their choosing, but simply because of DNA, are guilted into spending time with people they may purposely avoid the rest of the year. Don’t get me wrong. I KNOW there are families that actually like one another. But, that seems to be the exception, not the rule.

The longer I live, the more I become aware of the baggage that continues to build the longer a family has known each other. The first few years are like the honeymoon stage. Apologies are quickly given and forgiveness easily extended. But what happens if true forgiveness is not extended? Eventually, a mound of bitterness, that has been hidden in the dark festers, bubbling up and eventually erupts out of nowhere like a volcano. Whether you are the eruptor or the eruptee, the fallout is not pretty.

So, how can we make these holiday season interactions different from the previous ones?

  1. Our first option is to move far away and ignore anyone that might possibly set us off or be set off by us. Not being much of a people person, this option is my favorite. But we were designed to be social beings, so I’m not sure this is a very viable option.
  2. Our second option is to keep short accounts with our relatives. We need to not only make sure we are letting people know when they’ve hurt us-in a tactful loving kind of way, but to make sure when we extend forgiveness to others for hurting us that we have truly forgiven. Let me preface by saying forgiving does not mean forgetting. Forgiving means not bringing it up again…to the offender, to others or even ruminating it over and over silently in our own minds.
  3. Our third option is to remember the proverb, ‘even a fool is considered wise when he keeps silent.’

What if the hurt and pain feels like a lump of coal deep down inside of me and I’m not sure I can ‘play nice’ this year at the family gathering? It seems that every couple of years I receive an email bomb in the mail from one particular relative and each year it gets more and more difficult to diffuse. This year, not even the best SWAT team could have saved me from this blast. Therefore, our family has decided collectively that perhaps it’s best to sit this holiday gathering season out for a change. The great thing about coal is that under pressure, heat and stress it transforms into a beautiful diamond…but the transformation takes time. If there is a person in your life that you need to take a time out from—take the time. There is nothing heroic about being pummeled over and over again each year. Don’t be afraid to say, “You know what, this year it’s just not going to work for us to come over. But thank you for the invitation.” Getting into the proverbial ring with them and duking it out will not help anyone. You might feel better for the moment but once the interaction is over and done with, the wounds that have been given and received will leave permanent emotional scars.

What about you? Are you a diamond in the rough? Or are you the doing the roughing up? What will you do today to make this holiday season different from last season?

 

Are Your Holiday Family Gatherings More Prickly than Polite?

Have you ever played the word association game?  Lets try~I say chocolate, saliva develops as you sternly bark….’get me some!’ Or, I say ‘fruitcake’ and you say, ‘that wouldn’t even make my dog drool. Move on.’  What if I say, “family holiday gathering?” Be honest. Do you start perspiring even though it’s 65 degrees? Your eyes start to glaze over as you painfully realize Christmas is just around the corner. You are about to spend hours with people who don’t really like you. In fact, the family tree may be the only reason they gather with you at all.

 

At Christmas we ponder Jesus as light of the world.  But, Matthew 5 states that we, Jesus’ followers, are the light of the world. Is it possible to be the ‘light of the world’ while spending time with family members?  Yesterday while I was shopping,  I gave the lady behind me in line 2 of my extra coupons.  You would have thought I had given her a $20 bill. She was elated. That was easy. Why is it easier to be a light for Christ with a stranger? What happens to that thoughtful spirit in me when I get around my relatives?  What is there about us that can be so stubborn about demanding our way when we are with family? Do I demand more from my relatives? Am I a poor communicator? Do my actions corroborate my words or discredit me?

 

Recently I had to answer these questions when I received a email from a family member that left me shaking. Angry. Hurt. Angry. Disgruntled. Angry. Hopeless. Did I mention ANGRY?  It, however, was not a righteous anger. I had to ask myself why the letter caused so much anger within me. Perhaps it was because some of the things in the email were painfully true.  Initially, I chose denial fervently building a case for myself of all the things in the letter that were not true. Not a good plan. Fortunately, after much prayer and seeking counsel, I snapped out of denial mode.

 

Many of the things in the email were not necessarily true, but the result of poor communication. But, regretfully, some of the things were true. My pride did not want to see where I was not being Christ like.  Baggage from past interactions prevented me from loving as Christ calls me to love. But when I sought counsel and realized my actions were causing pain in the life of someone, I discovered that I needed to confess those things to God and ask His forgiveness. More importantly, I needed to ask my relative for forgiveness. That, my friend, was not an easy task. If I hear the word apologize the first thought that comes to my mind is, “Gulp, how do you eat an elephant?”  Well, as I tell my girls, “you eat an elephant one bite at a time.”  What do the first bites look like? Let me suggest the following.

 

  • Read Scripture. Perspective is everything and nothing provides perspective like God’s word. We need perspective when asking if there is something I have done to cause conflict in this relationship.
  • Go to the Person.  No emails. No texts. Communication is 90% non-verbal and only 10% verbal. If distance prevents a face to face interaction, make a phone call.
  • Listen. Listen. Listen. Did I say listen? Our tendency is to defend ourselves. Resist this temptation. God is your defender and protector.
  • Admit Wrong. I had to say, “You are right. I have___, would you please forgive me?”
  • Make a Commitment. Tell the person you will try and not commit the offense again and take the necessary steps to back up your words. For me, the culprit was poor communication. I made a commitment to call in the future and not rely on others to communicate for me.

 

Does it work? A few weeks after our interaction, our families had the chance to get together. Instead of dreading the interaction, I went with hope that things would go better than they have in the past. I felt God’s peace and joy in doing what He has called me to do. Was it easy? No. Were there times I needed a breather and needed to be alone? Yes. But, I can honestly say I had a great time and am not dreading our next family get together.

 

What about you? Do you need to go to someone before that family holiday gathering and make things right? If so, here may be some utensils to help you eat that elephant one bite at a time~

◦        Read scripture

◦        Go to the person

◦        Listen. Listen. Listen

◦        Admit wrong

◦        Make a commitment

 

I would love to know how your ‘meal’ went over the holidays. Please comment or email and let me know!

 

 

There Are Only Two Kinds of Fair

My husband always says there are only two kinds of fair in the world; the State Fair and the County Fair. Either way, I love BOTH of those kinds of fairs. For the past ten years, my daughters and I have entered our art work in the county fair. It all started when the elementary school they attended began entering their art work in kindergarten. They would win a ribbon and prize money so I would frame the art and the cash and hang it proudly in our home. My laundry room is currently brimming with artwork they have done over the years. This year was no different.

My eldest daughter has a penchant for cooking and quilting, while the younger enjoys painting. They both obsess over photography and enjoy coming up with creative ways to capture that unusual vantage point. Competitive at heart, they both relish Friday morning at the fair when the judges have spoken and ribbons are displayed. The great thing is they get to bring their masterpieces home and add them to their collection. As we brought our masterpieces home, I got to thinking about those who raise cattle to be auctioned off at the fair. What about their ‘masterpieces’ they’ve worked so hard on?

I spoke with a mother whose son had raised cattle for the fair from the time he was 8 years old. They purchased the calf and her son was responsible for its complete care. Feeding, grooming, cleaning, and the list goes on. I would imagine that after a year of spending an enormous amount of time caring for this animal that he would become very attached. His mom went on to explain that the first year he entered his calf was the most difficult. Once it had been auctioned off, the reality of the situation began to sink it. His beloved pet was about to be no more, except a steak divvied up at market… I imagine the boy’s eyes brimming with tears as the high bidder bridled the prize he had named Buddy and began to load it into his trailer.

This scenario made me think of another story I’ve heard many, many times. It’s the one of Eve chatting with the serpent in the Garden of Eden. Have you ever asked yourself what on earth she was doing chatting it up with a snake???

Before the fall of man, Adam and Eve not only walked with God in the cool of the Garden, but with the animals, as well. I love they could apparently they could talk with the animals! This is MY ideal paradise. I love animals—well, minus snakes—are they really even considered animals anyway? I imagine having the best of both worlds—not only having some of the most amazing creatures as your very own pet but being able to communicate with them, as well. Having them outside is just another added bonus, but, I digress.

Adam and Eve loved these animals. They were like family pets. So, when God took the skin of one of these beloved pets to cloth Adam and Eve after they both sinned, they each felt a particular sting as the fur of caressed their skin each day. The consequence went deeper than just seeing that one of the animals had to be slaughtered for their disobedience. Each and every day they were reminded of what happens when we sin…we are not the only ones affected. Others around us are affected, as well.

If you have family pets, as you begin your day, imagine the pain you would feel if they had to lose their life because of your disobedience to God. Then make your decision: Choose today, to obey!

Perspective + Circumstance = Emotion

Emotions are a funny thing. They evoke pleasure, they evoke pain. Happiness and sadness. Anger and indifference. Three weeks ago I was frustrated every time I looked out the window and saw that our cat had mots-ed up the windows again with his nose prints, just a little reminder of his presence. If only he’d not rub up against the window while looking out it, I wouldn’t have to waste my time washing those windows over and over again. Today, those same nose prints are there and I’m saddened by them. I long to leave them there. It was just a week ago that our poor kitty was diagnosed with liver cancer and we made that heart wrenching decision to put him to sleep.

Perspective feeds emotion—my perspective from a week ago has changed. My circumstances caused me to look differently at those nose prints and evoked an entirely different feeling. This caused me to wonder about other circumstances in my life. What other things am I looking at with the wrong perspective? Circumstances that are causing negative emotion and feedback in my life? Can I stop, take a moment to breath and look at both sides of the fence? When I look at ‘the green grass looks better over there’ view do I have the ability to step back and say, ‘but ah, this side of the fence allows for this and this and that?’

What about you? What circumstances in your life are causing you to look at life negatively? Can you change your thinking to look at the glass as half full? Try it and see if your perspective doesn’t just shift enough to stir your emotions to a healthier level.